Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
