): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
