Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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