my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
