the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
