just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
