Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize