I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
