He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
