im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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