420 ftw
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
