I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
