i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
