i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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