the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
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