Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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