driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
