we're blogging at a bar
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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