your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
