the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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