Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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