you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize