This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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