I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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