White coat. Heels.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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