Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
