We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
