Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
As shirtless as possible
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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