His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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