I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
