Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
