Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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