that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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