The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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