if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
