bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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