Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
