Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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