I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
