Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
