Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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