did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
