In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
