Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
