did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I know her cup size but not her name....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
