we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You have to summon your inner elephant
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
