All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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