What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
