I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
