id be glad to
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
