Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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