One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
