that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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