I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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