I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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