i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
