We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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