Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
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They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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