I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
