SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
