PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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