dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
