who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
