the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
tequila makes me forget i have legs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
