Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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