You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
