I wish i was in the wii world.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
