I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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