i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
