I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
